hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
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Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
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I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
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