He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
Holy fuck, spaghetti burritos are the best idea I've ever had.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
Is her dick bigger than yours?
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
