DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
Theres a live mouse in the toilet. Goddamn you this is why I don't party here
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
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