Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
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Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
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ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Oh you mean the girl that gave me a black eye when I told her I liked her fake eyelashes?
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
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