Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Apparently his ex was into edging and did it to him so much that it takes forever for him to cum
I hate you and your multiple orgasm sexcapades
Randomize
