I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
