I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Randomize
