I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I think my dove chocolate wrapper just told me to masturbate.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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