I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
Go christen that room with your naked body.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
