No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
You took a bar mat shot.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
It's blow job season.
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
Randomize
