i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
That's not a funny feeling. That's hepatitis. You got it from that bar where everything was sticky.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
I am such a fucking liability at weddings. I ended up making out with this married 40-year-old that told me that basically if I came home with him and be a sex partner for him and his wife, I would never have to pay for anything again. Extremely considered it.
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
