Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
this will be a night to untag.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
