I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
I guess I really am the only person in this world who can successfully have a no-strings-attached threesome on the beach.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Randomize
