when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
Randomize
