Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
Randomize
