Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Today's walk of shame includes last nights hair and make up, an 8 hour shift, me leading a meeting and me throwing up in a parking lot on my way to work. Dear world, you're welcome.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
