i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
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