The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
Best friends brother. Beat that.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
i would one night stand the shit outta him
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
