please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I wouldn't necessarily call it an addiction, more of a passion. I'm habitually passionate.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Shame - the story of my life.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
