Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
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