R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I think 2012 will be the year I purposely put myself in awkward situations. Much like 2011 but really trying this time. Like fucking the little sister of a girl I already fucked and dating a chick that lives with her ex. It could be awesome or horrible.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Now I am free. And I want to go meet men. My phone deleted all my contacts, and I consider this to be a new beginning. With a new man in my phone book.
Randomize
