She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Please tell me how you drunkenly remembered your social security number when we were checking you into the ER.
Just woke up with my keys in one hand and cheesecake in the other.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
I just had a flashback to me puking and you telling me it was okay because my boobs still looked awesome.
Randomize
