i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
they said he just opened the front of his shirt and threw up alll over himself
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
We are planning a drunk snapchat treasure hunt for tomorrow, and the treasure is his penis, this is a game I'm not willing to loose.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
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