we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
She was wearing my robin hood hat from Halloween shouting "steal from the rich and give to the poor, mothafuckaaaaas." We are taking her everywhere.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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