Texts From Last Night

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  (510): View more from California

  my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum

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  (510): my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum http://tfl.nu/or47
  Replies (20) Good night (819) Bad night (4366)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.

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  (804): I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore. http://tfl.nu/hody
  Replies (16) Good night (4077) Bad night (765)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them

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  (219): rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them http://tfl.nu/zf3d
  Replies (209) Good night (63662) Bad night (2778)
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  (812): View more from Indiana

  Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.

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  (812): Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding. http://tfl.nu/ofow
  Replies (16) Good night (2522) Bad night (987)
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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.

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  (201): In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye. http://tfl.nu/tv9w
  Replies (7) Good night (835) Bad night (1451)
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  (601): View more from Mississippi

  I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.

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  (601): I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked. http://tfl.nu/gydy
  Replies (7) Good night (1725) Bad night (610)
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  (321): View more from Florida Space Coast

  Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi

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  (321): Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi http://tfl.nu/jeyc
  Replies (3) Good night (598) Bad night (1089)
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  (830): View more from Texas

  Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.

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  (830): Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old. http://tfl.nu/rc4y
  Replies (0) Good night (709) Bad night (475)
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  (805): View more from California

  Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!

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  (805): Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well! http://tfl.nu/91dr
  Replies (3) Good night (718) Bad night (418)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?

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  (860): Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting? http://tfl.nu/r5ub
  Replies (3) Good night (855) Bad night (376)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.

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  (425): THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES. http://tfl.nu/y1ns
  Replies (9) Good night (1087) Bad night (788)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.

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  (781): Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all. http://tfl.nu/k6ec
  Replies (1) Good night (592) Bad night (322)
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  (408): View more from California

  She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.

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  (408): She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up. http://tfl.nu/zn3k
  Replies (4) Good night (536) Bad night (673)
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  (917): View more from New York City

  Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.

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  (917): Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air. http://tfl.nu/q0rt
  Replies (3) Good night (666) Bad night (328)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know)

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  (319): So don't be alarmed when you go into your bathroom, he's sleeping in the tub with your brothers dinosaurs. also I'll clean up the sticky floor later. (you don't wanna know) http://tfl.nu/6617
  Replies (1) Good night (406) Bad night (270)

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