I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
In the middle of having sex with me, she reminded me that I was supposed to call my mom that morning. My penis has never retracted so quickly.
i've really grown. sober me left an alarm for me every 10 minutes that said NO FAT CHICKS!
dude. im stealing that.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Randomize
