Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow

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  (248): I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow http://tfl.nu/a3vb
  Replies (2) Good night (1144) Bad night (421)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty

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  (518): I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty http://tfl.nu/4081
  Replies (5) Good night (729) Bad night (1525)
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  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  Because men are children

  (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  Touche

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  (832): Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child! (864): Because men are children (832): Touche http://tfl.nu/qtuf
  Replies (217) Good night (1439) Bad night (3548)
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  (224): View more from Illinois

  So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?

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  (224): So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went? http://tfl.nu/eczc
  Replies (46) Good night (4445) Bad night (976)
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  (843): View more from South Carolina

  so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy

  (1-843): View more from South Carolina

  i am grossed the fuck out

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  (843): so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy (1-843): i am grossed the fuck out http://tfl.nu/o4kg
  Replies (90) Good night (811) Bad night (6665)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend

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  (303): How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend http://tfl.nu/ip7i
  Replies (18) Good night (4531) Bad night (1149)
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  (818): View more from California

  remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,

  (702): View more from Nevada

  Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.

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  (818): remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it, (702): Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch. http://tfl.nu/x8zx
  Replies (116) Good night (6504) Bad night (12204)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.

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  (913): You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were. http://tfl.nu/duqk
  Replies (1) Good night (2812) Bad night (1401)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.

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  (316): How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously. http://tfl.nu/n6dt
  Replies (15) Good night (2600) Bad night (1783)
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  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day

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  (603): Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day http://tfl.nu/sq9b
  Replies (15) Good night (703) Bad night (1548)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.

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  (317): Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid. http://tfl.nu/n6yk
  Replies (5) Good night (1193) Bad night (1378)
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  (989): View more from Michigan

  apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer

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  (989): apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer http://tfl.nu/nnl1
  Replies (4) Good night (1024) Bad night (470)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"

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  (+61): I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs" http://tfl.nu/gwkh
  Replies (4) Good night (1589) Bad night (480)
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  (865): View more from Tennessee

  I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.

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  (865): I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital. http://tfl.nu/8bn2
  Replies (1) Good night (441) Bad night (307)
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  (336): View more from North Carolina

  Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house

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  (336): Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house http://tfl.nu/ap4l
  Replies (2) Good night (731) Bad night (234)

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