U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
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i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
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Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
I also know you puked in your shoe.
That would explain the note .... I apparently wrote myself an apology note from drunk to sober me .... saying "sorry for the fancy shoe soup" .... ugh I'll never drink again ...
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more