Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
I wish you looked at me the way you looked at my brothers penis
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
