Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Even the bartender felt bad for me
Dude, she puked up her Plan B, then reached in the toilet and re-swallowed it. That chick does NOT want a baby
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
He was dressed as the 420 Easter bunny...he looked like a walking anti-drug campaign.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Randomize
