Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
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