I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
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i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
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I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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