smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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