i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
