I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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