Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
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