Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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