Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
quit re-tweeting John McCain's tweets
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
I said I usually like going out for coffee before torturing someone's genitals. He said he understood.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
