I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
worst night to have a conscience
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
Rolled in at 3:30am from the strip club, with all the screaming I did, Siri doesn't even recognize my voice this morning,
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
Randomize
