I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
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