fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
he said he's going to burn things and pack his stuff. he may leave tomorrow supposedly but i doubt it
Randomize
