Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
