if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
cat food counts as protein by the way
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
Randomize
