2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Randomize
