Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Randomize
