she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
