Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
How external is "for external use only"?
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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