I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
You've ruined blow jobs for me. You were the motzart of sucking dick, where every other girl is like awkward elevator music
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Beer bong just needs to be rebedazzled but it's gonna make it
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
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