Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
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