Let's hear it for middle of the street handjobs ladies and gentlemen
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Randomize
