Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I wish my new phone didn't autocorrect so well. People will never experience the magic of my drunk texts because they think I'm making a coherent statement.
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
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