Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
Randomize
