They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
holy shit I was not prepared for her to whip out that dildo
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
