I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
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There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
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definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
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