found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
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