I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just saw some guy walking down the street rapping about various types of pasta.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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