a queef is a wish your heart makes.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
Randomize
