put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
Oh shit. There are penis maracas
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
