would you ever date a girl who drove an 89 Chrysler LeBaron? - for the record it's a convertable
So My parents cut me off after I started making blood marys with hienz ketchup
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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