Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
Randomize
