im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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