yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
this is an emotional support booty call
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
Randomize
