I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
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