found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
Randomize
