I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
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She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
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for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
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