I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
