"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
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