hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
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