I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
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